theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
