Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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