Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
