okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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