Only a mothe r could love this liver
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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