Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
