I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
