I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
