what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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