Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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