Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
