yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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