She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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