I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
