It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
