My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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