you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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