Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
