She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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