They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize