so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
