i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
