It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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