Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
