fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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