she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
