I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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