Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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