it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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