I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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