weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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