do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
