YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize