I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
