I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
