i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
