My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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