Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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