This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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