so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
