My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize