He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
