just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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