p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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