hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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