btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
