Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
