I need help removing her.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize