Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize
