If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.