You smell like stripper and shame
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.