I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.