and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
