Kiss
Puke
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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