I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
