But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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